Cupcakes!!

Today is soo beautiful!! I wish it could be like this every day for forever!!!

I just came back from Macy’s in Herald Square. Abbu’s birthday is on Friday so I got him a couple shirts, as always. I had like no money, but thankfully, Macy’s has a system where you can buy online and pick up at a store later. So no shipping ! And if I had it shipped, it would later than Friday.

I left around 830. I went to Forever21 to look around. Didn’t have any money on me. Wasn’t really in the mood to buy anything though, and didn’t really like anything. I did find a good simple shirtdress, which fits perfectly at the front. But in the back it was soo baggy and scrunched up, it just look plain stupid. I was annoyed. Blah.

Checked out Payless, hoping they’d have my comfort shoes. Sad to say, they didn’t. After Macy’s, went over to H&M. Was just looking arund, butj I did come across a really nice blazer!! Well it was a very flowly blazer, and so soft. the front lapels also extend more down so it just looked so nice. But only thing is, when the hell would I wear it. Probably once in my life. Also, I wouldn’t want to get black since i already have a black blazer. But they had a dark jade shade that I loved loved loved but now that I have a stupid sweating problem, I can’t wear like anything that will show my horrible issue. =( Why can’t I have a normal body!!

Looks better in the store
Looks better in the store!!

(Time Lapse). I started typing like 1, but since then I had class, ate lunch after, and watched an episode of SHIELD. And it also got so gloomy and rained. I’ve been absolutely hating on the monsoon season this spring is starting out as, but I didn’t mind this afternoon’s. Made for a cozy feeling afternoon.

So anyway, last night I spent a few hours making cupcakes for like the first time ever. I’ve made cupcakes like a million years ago, when I was like 10, but Ma pretty much did it. This was my first legit time ever. I saw youtube videos of oreo cupcakes and I thought hmmm this could be pretty good! I went down to Rahima’s because she has a lot of supplies. Soumya and Sylvia came over too. The process was long, and it’s hard when you don’t have a hugee spacious kitchen with all your supplies ready to go. But seeing it develop into a creamy mixture was exciting. By the time they were finished though, like 12:30-1, we were not in the mood to really eat it. I had a tiny bit and couldn’t eat anymore because it was a little too chocolatey for me. But…the others liked the bites they took. Today I took the remainer to POPs, and everyone who ate it loved it!!! I was soo happy, because I never did this ever before, so I was so glad everyone thought it was perfect.

The pizazz part of the cupcake is that at the bottom is an oreo cookie. And the frosting also incorporates oreo cookie crumbs. I wish had piping stuff, but this is a good first step.

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Ok now to attempt to do work…

Currently listening to Love Me Like You Do

Weekend

Since I have some time to spare at the moment, making some time to blab. I’m going to leave soon to go back to the dorms, and I don’t want to study being close to leaving. Because then I delay the actual leaving.

Didn’t really do anything this weekend except study, and yet, I am still quite behind. Spent yesterday doing colon cancers and liver physiology, and then today started liver diseases. So many more to go. Hopefully I manage my time better this week. The last 2 weeks have been gloomy and depressing out, it was really affecting me!! I think it might rain tomorrow, but the rest of the week should be nice and sunny.

I managed to not watch any tv shows, so that’s a huge deal. Around this time in April and May, I have so many Sunday shows. Game of Thrones. Mad Men. Once Upon a Time. The Good Wife. I watched the first two, but have put off the last 2, and now it’s already another Sunday. Will try to watch Game of Thrones tonight. I also have to watch Agents of SHIELD from Tuesday. I also did not finish House of Cards yet. I found it so blah this season. I skipped a lot of episodes. I’m tempted to just read what happened, but maybe I’ll watch the last 2. I think the White House storyline is so boring. Doug’s is intriguing. He has major issues that guy. But about the politics, I cannot stand made-up current events that don’t make sense when compared to present day. Like the Palestinian-Israeli conflict in the show is just so strange. I don’t get it. It feels so forced. Not liking it. I love fake history in Sci-Fi/Fantasy stuff, but not in current 2015 USA world stuff. Just weird.

Speaking of Sci-Fi, still haven’t gotten over the Star Wars news. I’ve been rewatching the trailer so many times. I’ve been listening to the trailer music so so many times. I have it on listenonrepeat.com (you can loop a youtube video for ages). The trailer music is such an amazing compilation of Star Wars themes, but it’s like, a new take on the old music. And along with the footage, it’s just too good.

I was actually watching the trailer for Star Wars Episode 2 from like 13 years ago. My God it was a horrible trailer!! Definitely appreciate this new one. You can tell when comparing to that old trailer that this new movie is made so so well from a cinematography standpoint.

Anyways, I should probably clean up around here. I’ll probably leave in about an hour. I’ll eat dinner, study a little more, and then watch GoT.

Also…as of now, this is how many times I’ve listened to the trailer music.

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Excited For…

I am so excited for….STAR WARS!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! The trailer came out yesterday and it looked soooo good and tonight I’ve been rewatching it!! I wish it was already out. I have been craving a really well made Scifi movie, and I’m a huge Star Wars fan so this is the best news ever!!! And as a huge soundtrack nerd, I am soo excited to hear John William’s new score for the music. The music in the trailer gives me THE CHILLS!! Everytime without fail, goosebumps. And the footage is sooo cool!! When I saw the spaceships I was squealing!!!!! My heart can’t take it anymoree!! 

What I loved about the trailer:

1. The music

2. The amazing cinematography/graphics (spaceshipss!!! Stormtroopers!! Lightsabers!!!)

3. Mark Hamil’s chilling short monologue thing that mentioned his sister Leia and Darth Vader!

The force is strong in my family

My father has it

I have it

My sister has it

You have that power too

*ushers beautiful epic music!!*

4. Darth Vader crushed helmet </3 (RIP)

5. New characters!! (Including pretty badass chick!)

6. Stormtroopers!! and..new Chrome Troopers?!

7. New Darth Vader like villain, who has a pretty sick costume…

8. Return of old characters!! (R2D2, Han Solo, Chewwbaca and moree!)

Han Solo: Chewie…we’re home 

Eeek this makes me wanna watch all the movies again. I also need to get serious about reading my Star Wars Atlas I got a million years ago. The movie is set 30 years after the happenings of movies made in the 70s/80s, so I can’t wait to see what happens!!

Currently just listening to the Star Wars soundtrack because I could use a dose of epic. I just feel like everything is possible!!

The Return…

Wow it’s been sooo long since my last post. I kept telling myself that I would update regularly, but I just kept delaying it, tomorrow tomorrow. And then apparently, four months flew by! Also special shoutout to Lindsayy, for telling me to update =P

Well not much has been happening. Just studying studying studying. My last unit’s finals (or summatives as we call) were mid-March, and then I had spring break for a week. And now it’s already the third week of April. Time flies so so fast. Right now we are in our GI subunit, and I’m being really bad about studying it. I really should start going to lectures again. I always tell myself I’ll catch up on the weekend, but that never really happens. Still have yet to perfect the art of time management…

So what did I do today…I had my preceptorship in the morning. I have a nurse at a school (which is like 15-20 minutes by car…and like one hour by train). I was there for the morning, and then I got back around 1:15. Shila came to visit (and to finalize our dorm for next year— we are new future roomies!). It’s her birthday Friday, so we wanted to do something for her. We really really wanted her to stay the night but she’s busy.

At 2 I had class called POPs (I forget what it stands for…), where we get into our groups of 4 and do case questions. Was pretty lost for most of it, but that’s nothing new…

After that Rahima and I went to Crown Fried Chicken. Tonight we’re actually throwing a birthday party for Renee, who turns…26? So we had originally wanted to do dual birthday party for Shila and Renee, but sadly that didn’t work out. I was going to cook something, but then I just wasn’t up for experimenting. If it came out bad, I would be fuming. So I opted to buy fried chicken of course.

So we were going to do it at like 7:30 or 8, but then we learned today of all days, Renee was volunteering the free clinic. So now we are going to surprise her at 11.

After I got back, I ate a salad I bought (I’ve become so obsessed with this salad, that’s funny enough sold by Crown Fried Chicken). And then I took a nap because I was so drained. And now I should be studying a bit before the birthday party, but I’m soo out of it.

I’ve been feeling out of it lately a lot anyway, so nothing new…but that’s for another time.

Currently listening to…Z100! I started listening to it again after soo many years. But I use it as background sound. Not a big fan of current music these days…although I lovee Boom Clap! Very catchy.

BOOM! CLAP!
The sound of my heart
The beat goes on and on and on and on and
BOOM! CLAP! 
You make me feel good
Come on to me come on to me now

Jane Eyre

I finally finished Jane Eyre! I started it last winter but I stopped reading it around last January because I had stopped at a part where I felt what she was going through at the time. I thought it was a good time to just stop and wait to finish a later time. We were both in dark places (she having left her only love, and me, being depressed about medical school). I had seen the movie before, so I knew there was a happy ending at the end, so I was putting that off for when I would crave a happy ending kind of story.

And now I’m finally done with it. I get why a lot of people love this book. Jane is such an inspiring character. Her perseverance and endurance in faith, in the face of all the misery in her life, is beyond admirable.

My favorite part is this, when she is basically homeless but tries to remain strong, knowing God would help her get through it all.

Worn out with this torture of thought, I rose to my knees. Night
was come, and her planets were risen: a safe, still night: too
serene for the companionship of fear. We know that God is
everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread before us; and it is in the
unclouded night-sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course,
that we read clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His
omnipresence. I had risen to my knees to pray for Mr. Rochester.
Looking up, I, with tear-dimmed eyes, saw the mighty Milky-way.
Remembering what it was–what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light–I felt the might and strength of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had made: convinced I grew that neither earth should perish, nor one of the souls it treasured. I turned my prayer to thanksgiving: the Source of Life was also the Saviour of spirits. Mr. Rochester was safe; he was God’s, and by God would he be guarded. I again nestled to the breast of the hill; and ere long in sleep forgot sorrow.

She remained firm in her beliefs throughout, and it paid off in the end. She got her happy ending. She was finally reunited with the love of her life. The part where she saw Mr. Rochester, now blind, struggling to get around, was so sad. I loved their reunion scene. They loved each other so much. It was a love beyond the sensual. They loved talking to one another. They picked at each other’s brains. They teased each other. I have to say though. Mr. Rochester can be so cheesy!

I was pretty infuriated at her cousin Mr. Rivers, who wanted to marry her only because she would make a good missionary wife. He was so cold and strict. And yet Jane always saw the good in him.

All in all, a really  great book. I need to make use of this feel good energy that Jane has bestowed upon me.

It felt good to just read something non-medical. Being transported to another place and time.

Now from 1800s England, I go to the 1960s in the Deep South (The Help).

Doubts

I’m finally getting two weeks off from school! I desperately need some downtime. No one did much work this week. We were not in the mood for it. Yesterday my carrel had a holiday party, which was really nice. Our secret santa exchange time was super adorable. I had Lauren, and I got her a Dunkin Donuts giftcard, thinking she’d find it useful since she’s always going there for coffee. Andy gave me an amazing gift, an exercise ball! It’s one of those things that I would have loved to have, but would never actually buy. I really liked it. Can’t wait to actually use it.

I came home last night, started watching Captain America: the Winter Solider, which I finished this morning. I’ve really been going nuts for SHIELD/Marvel superhero stuff lately. I’m craving really awesome sci-fi/action/fantasy shows/movies lately. And now that Avatar ended today, there’s this big vacuum that needs to be filled with an equal amount of Avatar’s awesomeness. But of course, there is no equal to Avatar.

The Avatar series finale was good, but of course, I would never be satisfied with it because I will always want more. Why must the story end? The avatar world is so beautiful and the creators could do so many amazing stories with it. Sadly, Nickelodeon treated the creators ike crap so I feel for them and hope they are able to create an even better show (if that’s even possible?!) that they have complete control over.

Two things really got to me emotionally for really weird reasons, but if you know me at all, you must know that television shows really really get to me. Well one is that with Korra ending, it’s just another reminder that I’m not getting any younger and life is just going to keep going and going. More work. More expectations. More responsibilities. And my infamous Peter Pan complex doesn’t make it any easier to approach these with grace.

The other thing was who Korra ended up with…So I have been a hardcore Mako and Korra fan since the show began a few years ago. And I was really hoping for something to happen. A big beautiful reunion. But to the last episode, I realized nothing like that was going to happen, but even a little moment would make me happy. Give a sliver of hope. And I did get that. Mako nearly sacrificed himself quite heroically to save everyone. And he told Korra how he would be by her side forever. And I was really touched by that. He has to end up with her in the distant offscreen future. There’s so much history and love there.

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tumblr_ngtedrHzlN1ruu897o1_250The last scene made it seem though that Korra would end up with Asami! They became very close friends and then the last scene made it seem like it could be more than that. Ultimately, no one really knows who Korra will end up with. But for someone who takes tv relationships very seriously, her not ending up with Mako was a stab in the heart. Ugh. And now I’m projecting all this on to myself.

Korra and Mako (as all my fave couples) are placeholders for romantic stuff at the moment, since I don’t do relationships in the real world. So when they didn’t end up together officially, it just feels like I won’t be getting the happy ending I envisioned for myself. Like the real happy ending. *sigh* I just feel that I just keep getting older and I know I have way more time to find someone or meet someone but I’m always scared thats not going to happen. And then I’m just going to be so damn miserable for the rest of my life. My parents will just make me marry anyone to have babies. Or on a more morbid note, I feel that something really horrible is going to happen to me and I won’t be able to even think about any of that stuff. I have an idea of this guy in my head, but he probably doesn’t exist. He doesn’t have to be perfect, but I don’t know…he’s gotta click with me. I don’t want it to feel forced. And these days most guys are so damn screwed up or they already have someone. I wonder if my guy is out there and he’s also facing a similar dilemma.

Anyway while I sit here and mope, and listen to avatar music to make me even more depressed, I need to post these gifs to record the beauty of avatar. Who knows when I’ll rewatch all these amazing episodes.

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